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Almond. 20. Female. Bassist. Lame.

studip:

team I’m the ugly friend but it’s good bc I’m funny and chill

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

rexuality:

me: wow this is fucked up
vagina: idk it’s kinda hot :|
me: vagina no
vagina: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Lawyer: Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but she was drunk and passed out.
Lawyer: That's not what I asked. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but she was wearin-
Lawyer: I didn't ask what she was wearing. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but-
Lawyer: I didn't ask anything else. It's just a simple yes or no answer. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes.
Laywer: Yes, he raped her.
Rape is rape is rape, no matter the context.
Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
Me: /dinosaur screams/

texasenchantment:

The fact that I’m legally an adult is hysterical

did-you-kno:

In 1880, the Queen of Thailand drowned even though her subjects were present at the time. Her subjects were forbidden to touch the queen.
Source

did-you-kno:

In 1880, the Queen of Thailand drowned even though her subjects were present at the time. Her subjects were forbidden to touch the queen.

Source